I grew up listening to Michael Jackson, and I enjoyed the new Michael Jackson biopic.
I know people have had plenty to say about it, and there are complicated parts of Michael Jackson’s life that no movie will fully resolve. But as a piece of storytelling, music, performance, memory, and emotion, I found a lot to appreciate.
Still, I walked out wishing one thing had been included.
“Man in the Mirror.”
It’s one of my favorite Michael Jackson songs. Not just because it’s powerful musically, but because it asks a question every man has to reflect upon: How do I view myself?
The song presses us to stop blaming the world while refusing to face ourselves. It calls us to begin with the man in the mirror. To stop waiting for change somewhere “out there” while avoiding the truth right in front of us.
For Christian men, it goes even deeper. Because we do need to change. We need repentance, and we need to face the mirror honestly.
But we also need to remember that we don’t make ourselves new.
Only Christ does that.
The movie showed a man wrestling with his own reflection
One of the parts of the movie that stayed with me was how much attention it gave to Michael’s discomfort with his appearance, especially his nose. The film shows his insecurity, the wounds connected to that insecurity, and multiple surgeries as his appearance continues to change.
It was hard to watch because many of us know something about not liking what we see. We understand it more than we want to admit.
Maybe it's our outward appearance we dislike, or maybe it's something you can't see in a mirror: our temptations, past, personality, hidden life or weakness.
For decades, I struggled to accept myself, and this movie made me pause and wonder: How often do we hate what God loves? Sin distorts our view of ourselves, and we begin believing lies we've been told or have told ourselves.
So when we look at ourselves with disgust, dissatisfaction, or disdain, we may think we’re being honest. We forget that God made us in his image.
Hating what we see
That’s where we need to be careful. Some of us think the pathway to change is self-disgust. We somehow think hating parts of ourselves will bring about change. We think the Holy Spirit's voice is one of accusation.
I know what it’s like to look at myself and think, “What's wrong with you?” I know what it’s like to rehearse old failures as if punishing myself could somehow make amends for the wrong I've done.
But self-hatred won't draw us closer to Christ, and it won’t make us free.
As we behold the Lord, we are being transformed into his image “from one degree of glory to another,” and this comes from the Spirit. — 2 Corinthians 3:18
That verse gives us a better picture of change.
Christian change is not a man standing alone in front of a mirror, trying to shame himself into becoming new.
Christian change begins as we behold Christ.
In view of his holiness, we see our sin more clearly. But we also see his mercy, cleansing, patience, lordship, and sufficiency.
And as we behold him, the Spirit forms in us what we cannot do ourselves.
"Make the change”: true, but not the whole truth
“Man in the Mirror” is about responsibility. If change is needed, start with the person you actually have some responsibility for: yourself.
While that's true, a Christian man shouldn't use theology as an excuse for passivity. We don’t get to say, “The Holy Spirit changes people,” while refusing to confess sin, ask forgiveness, tell the truth, close the laptop, call a brother, seek counsel, open Scripture, or take responsibility for what we’ve done. Grace doesn’t make us passive.
But the gospel gives us the rest of the truth: we are not the source of our own new life. Christian change is not “I do everything” or “God does everything while I stay stuck.” The Spirit convicts, Christ cleanses, the Father receives, the Word exposes and restores, the church bears burdens, a brother speaks truth, and the man repents and walks forward. All of that belongs together.
James warns that a man can hear the Word and still deceive himself. He can look into the mirror, see what is true, walk away, and forget. That’s because truth requires response. We don’t need more dramatic promises in front of the mirror. What we need is one honest step in the light.
What do you believe God sees?
This is where many of us get stuck. We know God sees everything, but it’s harder to believe that God sees everything and still calls a repentant man in Christ his son.
A lot of us assume God looks at us the way we look at ourselves on our worst day: disappointed, disgusted, tired, ready to turn away. So we hide, perform, or punish ourselves. We hide because we think the truth will exile us. We perform because we think visible strength will make us acceptable. We punish ourselves because we think grace must be balanced by self-contempt.
But the gospel does not teach us to look at ourselves with pride or hatred. It teaches us to see ourselves truthfully in Christ. Sin is still sin. Real repentance, confession, and repair still matter. If we’ve harmed someone, hidden something, indulged something, or run from responsibility, grace does not tell us to shrug. But grace also does not tell us to despise what God has redeemed.
In Christ, you are not filthy. You are washed. You are not fatherless. You are adopted. You are not condemned. You are forgiven. You are not your worst pattern. You are being made new.
Romans 8:1 says there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. No condemnation does not mean no conviction. The Spirit convicts us because God loves us too much to leave us divided, but conviction leads us toward Christ. Condemnation drives us into hiding. We have to learn the difference.
Maybe the mirror isn't the final authority
The mirror may show you evidence, but it doesn't name you.
It can show the cost of years spent running. It can show the face of a man who knows he has sinned. It can show insecurity, regret, exhaustion, and fear. But your reflection is not your justification. Your performance is not your righteousness. Your worst struggle is not your deepest identity.
The enemy wants men trapped between two lies. The first says, “You’re fine. Don’t look too closely.” The second says, “You looked, and now you should hate what you see.” The gospel tells the truth against both: you are more sinful than your image management admits, and in Christ, you are more loved than your shame can understand.
That doesn't make repentance optional. It makes repentance possible.
A man who is secure in Christ can face the truth without defending the false self. He can say, “Lord, have mercy on me.” He can say, “I need help.” He can say, “I don’t yet feel clean, but Christ says his blood cleanses, so I’m going to stand on his Word instead of my disgust.”
That's not denial. That's faith.
We don’t have to hate ourselves to repent
Repentance isn't self-hatred. It's agreeing with God about sin and turning toward him in faith.
When we repent, we stop defending what God calls sin. We stop excusing it, hiding it, and making peace with it. But we also stop pretending our shame is stronger than Christ.
1 John says that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Confession is not walking into a room where God finally gets to shame us. It's stepping into the light where Christ has already made cleansing possible.
Some of us need to confess sin. Some of us need to ask forgiveness from someone we’ve hurt. Some of us need to tell a trusted brother the truth. Some of us need to stop calling ourselves names God has not given us.
Maybe the honest prayer is simple: “I am not what I should be, but I belong to Christ. I am not done growing, but I am not condemned. I need repentance, and I need mercy." Both are true.
Face the mirror
The next time you feel the mirror condemning some part of you, stand there for a moment and pray three honest sentences:
“Lord, show me what is true. Lord, cleanse what is sinful. Lord, form in me what looks like Christ.”
That prayer won’t fix things overnight. Sanctification is often slower than we want. Some wounds require patient care. Some patterns require confession, structure, counsel, and brotherhood over time. But that prayer is a beginning because it refuses pretending, despair, self-salvation, and self-hatred. It puts the man in the mirror where he belongs: before the face of Christ.
Take one honest step
Maybe today’s step is real repentance. Name the sin plainly before God. Ask forgiveness where you've caused harm. Bring what is hidden into the light with a trusted brother or pastor.
Maybe today’s step is receiving forgiveness. You may have confessed, but you keep acting like Jesus is less faithful than your shame. You don't need to minimize what happened, but you do need to stop calling unclean what Christ has cleansed.
Maybe today’s step is brotherhood. Text one man and say, “Can we talk this week? I need to be honest about something.” You don’t need to tell the whole story by text. Just open the door.
Maybe today’s step is learning to love what God loves—not your sin, pride, hiding, or false self, but the man God made: the image-bearer Christ came to redeem and the son being formed by the Spirit.
The man in the mirror needs truth, repentance, mercy, brothers, and the Spirit’s power. He needs to remember that the mirror can show him what needs to change, but only Christ can make him new.
Take one honest step.
Bring one hidden thing into the light before God, and ask one trusted brother to walk with you.
